Please continue to return to this page as the weekend gathering is planned. We will be providing new information as it is available. Below are four workshops planned by the Pinkys which were planned around the weekend’s theme of “Being Yourself.” Additional workshops are further down on the page. New workshops will be added to the list as we confirm them.
Our MM83 Pinkys
Dan Lentz has been attending Mainely Men for a number of years. He was Pinky for MM60.
Eric Dombrowik’s first gathering was MM69. At MM82 in the fall he facilitated two workshops.
Planned theme workshops:
These workshops will explore these questions and others in an atmosphere of mutual respect. They are not intended to be a therapy group or session. The presenters are not trained/licensed therapists but rather attendees at the gathering who have a skill to share or idea that they want to discuss with other men. This gives like-minded men a chance to connect and learn in a safe and warm environment.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – unknown, and not Oscar Wilde
Our beliefs about who we are go back to childhood. We form an opinion of ourselves that is based in how others see us or want us to be. These assumptions may become limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, and before we can answer the question “How can I be myself?” we must strip away these limiting beliefs—and stop with the negative self-talk. We might say things to ourselves like, “I have always been this way” or “I have never been good at this.” If we continue to tell ourselves the same stories, using negative self-talk to focus on the same limiting beliefs, they will continue to be true. Our beliefs become our thoughts, which become our actions and ultimately our habits. Let’s discuss how we can break harmful cycles to embark on a path to becoming who we really are.
EXPRESS YOURSELF THROUGH YOUR STRENGTHS
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” – Buddha
Our negative traits do not define us. We must replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk that will empower us to express our true selves. When we focus on our strengths, we build ourselves up. Does focusing on strengths mean never working on bettering ourselves or improving weaknesses? No, but focusing on one’s strengths is a way to growing faster by NOT focusing so much on deficits. Not sure what your strengths are? Think of how you feel when you are truly “in your element.” Focusing on strengths can help us determine what we enjoy, how experiences affect us and how we can become our true selves. Explore creative endeavors like art, writing, gardening, music. Find communities that celebrate and support mutual interests and talents. It is while we are engaged with people and things we love that we feel a sense of purpose and are most ourselves.
GUILT AND SHAME: STOP LIVING IN THE PAST
“The past is the past; it can never live or last.” – unknown
Our current lives are an accumulation of past actions, choices, and experiences. However, our future is determined by how we act now, in the present moment. Our past does not have to define us. Everyone has made mistakes, such as letting someone down (leading to guilt) or making a bad financial decision (leading to shame). Guilt and shame are bosom buddies, though they are not interchangeable. Studies have shown that a little bit of guilt (remorse for wrong actions) or shame (consciousness of having done something improper or dishonorable) can be healthy since these feelings regulate our behavior and keep us aligned with what is acceptable to create harmony. They help us live according to our personal ethics. However, excess or misplaced guilt and shame can break us emotionally. Do you feel unhealthy amounts of guilt or shame about things outside of your control or about minor things? Let’s discuss ways to reframe our thinking and start living in the present as our true selves.
STOP CARING (SO MUCH) ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain
Not caring (so much) what others think is often easier said than done. It’s human nature to want to fit in, but our fear of what others think can hold us back. We cannot control other people’s opinions. However, we can value what others think, particularly the thoughts of those we respect or love. And we can care enough to be mindful of how our words and deeds impact others. But is this the same as caring so much to the point of not being ourselves? To be ourselves, we must be our whole self. That means being willing to be vulnerable. One answer to “How can I be myself?” is to face fears head-on, to be open and honest with friends, a partner, family, and others close to us. How can we show others how we really feel in ways that maintain respect while also fully respecting ourselves?
Lead by Steve Casillas
Other workshops planned for MM83:
TAI CHI, CHI GONG
Lead by Mike Noonan
WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE THE NAKED LIFE IN MAINE
Lead by Ashley Lenartson
EXPRESSING THE ARTISTIC SELF
Lead by Rudy Narvaez
Wall of Interests
For those who would like to participate, at MM83 we will continue our practice of bringing items that are of interest to you. Consider this a “hobby table” where you can share with the other men how you like to spend your free time. Click here to get more information on the Wall of Interests.